Trying My Best

I suppose it's quite true though, about what one of best friend had told me, that I wasn't really as happy and cheerful like last year. I should thank her that because, she is actually one of them who noticed about it, even the both of us stayed far away.

What can I say much about it, last year is one of the year that I actually am happy after all, and pretty much obvious, I know the reason why. One of it is that, I manage to make new best friends, even we only talked around inside the internet as our medium of communication. The other one? All I can say, it's because of that one person, my life did change for the better and made my world into a place where it is not empty anymore.

Yes, I was in a relationship last year, and honestly to tell? I was quite happy with it though, really happy about it. But yeah, I guess in the end, it didn't work out as proper as we are hoping for, and I guess that is one downfall that I am having right now. True, most people think I am still cheerful and be my usual self over here, but inside, I suppose it's not the same as people would think it would be. I didn't realized that among my friend who realized it, the one who stay far away from me noticed it more that others.

I won't lie that I miss those memories that I have though. And yes, it hurts really badly that even myself can't stop crying about it. People might say it is pointless to cry over it, but for me, it's because the person I really love inside my heart, that I end up crying in the end. It's not because of some cheap love that I am doing, it's really pure love that I really am doing and wanted to cherish it the most inside of me.

I suppose up until now, the only person that I blame is just myself.
All I can say, is just, I'm scared that I would again, hurt another soul in life.

Right or Wrong?

It has been for quite sometime that I haven't been writing this blog I would say. I guess, when I have trouble in my mind, I would end up coming here and write things that I've been thinking a lot lately in my mind. For this one? I suppose I would want to express myself again in the end. So here goes then.

For the small detail out of it, I wanted to say, that I was in a relationship with a person that I love at first, but I guess it did not go the way it should be. We have some issues behind them but I guess I'll let off that detail out of it since I'm not here to trash people around or even give that person a bad reputation.

What I'm writing here is just to wonder, what is that I am doing is right or wrong. No it's not about relationship, I assure you. It is about a safety of a person's life that I'm concerning about at this point of time. For the past time, I do notice her being emotionally unstable due to problems that she have in life after we parted ways. Yes, I do am concern about it, although I was insulted in the end. And for the last two to three days, she did gave me a call and I did not pick them up because I was praying, and in the end she left me a voice mail, an unpleasant if I remember it right. And after that voice mail, I did try to send her a text message asking what is her problem out of it, but failed to get any replies. And until now, there's no sign of it, even with multiple calling and text messages that I have sent. This made me worried that something bad might have happen. Call me stupid or being paranoid, but when it comes to human life, I don't wish to see those precious life to be lost. I'm worried not because she was in a relationship with me or whatsoever it is, its because I feel it is wrong to let a person do something irrational and with possibility, to loose a life in the end of it.

And yes, this relationship? It's was a long distance relationship. True, there's a lot of people does not believe in this kind of relationship since the person is not there face to face or psychically be with us. For me, I believe it can happen either way, just need to have the effort for it. And people do say that we can't even see what they are doing behind of us, which I can point out, is a lack of trust.

But like I said, I am not talking about my past relationship. What I want to point out is the 'trust' that I have mentioned there. So basically, what most people say is that, we can't trust people who are further or far away then us, and only believe the ones that is near and psychically be with us? To tell the truth, even the ones who are close to us, can stab us behind our backs, so why putting a blame on the ones that are far that us as well, am I correct? I have friends who live far away, and I still able to put my trust in them. What can I say, if it's true then it's true then, and if it's a lie, that its a lie. We can't just judge people just because they live far away from our eyes. When we can't see them, does not mean they are doing bad things. Only god will know what is going on that's for sure. Plus, if there's no solid evidence on what they are doing, we can't just simply judge people.

Yes I understand people does something wrong or mistakes in their life, and I'm sure everyone in this world does it too, which includes me, because we are human in the end. And if god can forgive those mistakes that we made, why, we as humans can't? True, there are bad people and good people in this world, but we do know that even bad people can turn out good in the end, and even good people can turn out bad well, we never know when that will happen. Maybe it's because of experience or whatever has happen upon the person, made them not to believe in things anymore.


I suppose that would be most of it I want to talk about, but... yes, for me, in a total confusion, I'm not sure what am I doing is right, or even wrong either way. But this is what I believe.

Not So Productive

"What to do... What to do..."

*Sigh*

I suppose I'll be a little off on this one for the day. Since I have nothing much that I could do at this time I'm going to write this one out a bit out of the blues. Nothing that important I would want to say but yeah... This is for not being productive for the day. Lets see here... What did I do today...

*Thinks for a while*

Since the Maple server is offline in morning, and most of my friends isn't around, which also the silent day in Facebook where my friends aren't there as well, I decided to take a little stroll to my campus ground. It's better then just staying home right? Again I decided to head to my campus a bit. Went out around 7AM in the morning, looking for the campus bus to arrive. But a while of waiting and the bus did not pop up (Or I think I miss it *Shrugs*) I decided to take the bus to Sunway Pyramid. Was a little bored, so I took a little long walk towards my campus from Sunway, since it's not thaaaaat far.

"Manage....to arrive..."

Took a while for me to arrive, I guess it was still around 8AM in the morning. So what can I do? Eat breakfast or course~ And yeah... Since there was a heavy storm yesterday, two lamp was destroyed and some tents are still... not in good shape too. Oh right, I also notice one tree blocking the path, which seems like a small tunnel for me to go through too. So yes, hearing some people laughing and looking around the place.... Alone, I just kept on eating my breakfast as usual. And I suppose all I get after waiting and so so on is... They thought me as a new student there

"N-New student? After like...3 years there?"
*Sweatdrops*

Of all things to being with, I didn't expect they would take me as a new student there. So yeah, since there's nothing much to do there anymore, I decided to head back home.... Walking all the way back to Sunway to take the bus. Yeah... good exercise I suppose so I can't complain on that one. Good part is, the bus just arrive in time after I reach there so it's not all that bad to wait (Was hoping to get some drink before getting on the bus actually)

So there, got back home, Maple is still under maintenance, waiting for others to be online, and even waiting for someone to come back from school. But at least I manage to text one of my Facebook friends a bit for a while, at least I didn't become that lonely. So what else after everything went silent? Nap!

"Um... Still didn't hear anything yet.."

Woke up around 2PM or something, that special someone still haven't arrive back home, talking to my other friend a bit and go around hunting for equipments in Maple. Yes... It was totally horrible that one of my armor got destroy due to the scroll

*Sweatdrops*

Still waiting for that person to reply my text... well at last she did though but sadly...
It's only for a while... Which makes me sad... A lot... Quite a lot

"Me is sad uguu..."
*Sniff*

And now, since I'm a little tired of playing Maple (Would continue tomorrow perhaps) now all I can do is just go around and hug my pillow... Pillow is so fluffy... Okay maybe the last part of hugging is a bit random but still, it's so fluffy!

*Hugs it tightly*

Oh... I realized the bump on the knee due to the kitchen, it has leave me a mark... Purple one.
*Sweatdrops*

Farewell 2010 & Welcome 2011

Ah... It seems like time passes like the wind. Um I suppose I didn't have much to say about it but somehow I do feel like I'm going to miss this year a lot I suppose. With all those happiness and sadness, all come together to become a bundle of memory that will be stored inside my brain system

"Eh it's over already?"

I suppose there are a lot of things that had happen in these years, bad things and good things. Made new friends, and so so on. Well I even manage to get something special too this year I would say. Um? Want to know what it is? It's classified information ^_~

But really, for some reason, this year really went like a breeze, and plus I never even realized that soon I'll be graduating as well within next year. Ah... How am I going miss this one... I was hoping to spend time in this year but I guess all will be memories I would say


"Here we'll welcome 2011 in our lives!"

Pretty much I would not go much of a detail of it or I may end up crying here when writing this blog. So my year 2010, I wish you goodbye. It was fun really. And here I am will be standing here, waiting for the New Year to come by. 2011, bring on! Give us the excitement and adventure that we going to have soon!

The Changing Reality

So who says I don't have any jealousy in me? I suppose I do I guess. And no, that that kind of horribly jealous that I wanted to end up throwing myself out of the window, just sometimes I do wish I can do the things like some people can during my younger age. Since that's not possible, best to move on right~?

And as far as I can see, it does seems to change...Quite a lot, within 21 years on my life (Yes yes, I just manage to reach 21 years old a couple of days ago on when writing this post ^^;) Since during my childhood times, it's like most children are more towards things outdoors like...Lets see.. Playing hide and seek, those police and thieves game, kite flying, playing as Power Rangers and some other sorts of things. Nothing that concerns much on technologies.

Now, well...Guess its rather different, most of the children I see manage to get a laptop in the early stage, PSP, Nintendo DS, PS3, Xbox 360, Wii, and other kinds of things that they could actually do at this time. It's quite interesting on how they can actually obtain these things easily, even for me, I can't hardly get a PS1 when I was young.

Not to say it's a bad thing on not getting them ^^;;
Just talking about it that's all

But yeah, I guess, things does change a lot on how the olden days and the modern days are right now. Maybe some are still not able to get them but, usually I do see most of the children get what they want I would say. Either way, even I don't get those kinds of stuff like some others are, I'm still be able to be happy about it at the end ^^.

Perhaps I can obtain them, but by that time arrives, I would be aging. Maybe I'll be some sort of old person who still play Rune Factory Frontier in Wii then when the time comes by~

Birthday Days

Being a bit more free for today, I suppose I would just write my blog for today I would say, apart from some people bugging me in Facebook that is but anyhow, it seems like my day has finally passed as I celebrated my 21st birthday on the 18th December.


Eto.. I suppose this might be a short post but still, I can say I did enjoy myself with my family during my celebration of birthday. I suppose I still did not expect much from the whole thing but I did enjoy myself either way.

Plus, even my friend and my Facebook friends did give me their birthday wishes as well, so I'm rather happy about it. In addition, I did get a special one too for this year. For me, even a small piece of happiness that they give me, I'll be happy about it really~


So overall, even it's not a big 21st birthday party like other people does, or even get bundles of presents like any other children around that is lucky enough, but still, I'm happy about it either way ^^~

Support Unit or Negligence Unit?

"Ug...My head...Man I need to get more rest soon..."

Sorry that I never really update my blog that much considering the bundles of assignments that has been piling up day by day. Not to mention I'm having a lack of time of doing them as well. I do hope one way or another I'll be able to complete them nicely before November starts. Since my head is spinning around out of tiredness and fever, I would like to put this up before I head for my rest.

I'm sure you all wonder why I set the title of "Support or Negligence" as my topic this time. Actually what I wanted to pointed out is about what parents are doing towards their children. I have been observing on the problems that some people have been through and it seems like there is a little trouble when it comes to parents taking care of their children nowadays. True, maybe I'm not suitable on talking about this considering I haven't even start my own family but still, I do have my share of ideas on what I wanted to say. Back to the topic that I've wanted to point out, is there a reason why I questioned the capabilities of some parents at the moment? Yeah I do question their capabilities at this time.

Alright, to narrow it down a little more better, I'll take studying as one of the problem that is facing by the children. If the child did not want to study, what should we do? We give them advice and try to persuade them on doing their homework. But, the problem now is, even when the child is trying their hardest to study for the subjects, they are still been label as being a "Lazy" child or even scolded them by throwing all kinds of irrelevant or untrue information. Is there any kinds of problem for a child to study? No right? Pretty much sure the parents suppose to be more supportive on giving them encouragement for them to study better instead of neglecting and throwing tantrum to those children when they wanted to study.

"No really..."
"Do not let your child ended up doing things that would end their life"

Getting the worse of it, after the child was trying their best but failed to archive a result they wanted, for example, the student wanted to get an 'A' but ended up getting a 'B' as a grade, what did the parents do? They didn't encourage them, they insulted them more and even let out a long endless complain for the child to hear. Isn't that interesting, the parents first complain how lazy the child was even when they are studying, and they still continue to complain when the child get a result that can still consider a good one. So, what does the parent really want from their children actually? They can't even make a good decision out of it and all they do is just complain from top to bottom and everything they child does seems wrong. If the parent actually realized, it can actually put a heavy pressure towards the child itself.

"Is it wrong? I studied but they're never satisfied with it"
"It would be worse if I never actually touch the book at all!"
"Either way, both of the route I took seems wrong for them"
"So which one do they want me to do then? I'm confused!"

Its true, that we need to set up a rule for the children to follow. But, complaining or insulting the children that is actually trying to do a good deed out of it isn't the way of parenting. The parents should be supporting more if they child is eager to study, not condemning them till their spirits broke apart. And I'm even sure that in an examination, all parents wanted to see their children score A's in their paper. But if the child didn't pass that expatiation after trying hard, encourage them, not demotivate them off until the state that they think themselves as a useless human being.

Yes like I have said, I may not have much experiance sine I'm still far away of being father of my children, but seeing how some parents treated their children like a bag of rubbish is plain horrible. Anyhow I'm going to stop here for now. That is all I can say about it at the moment. All I could hope for that some of the parents will be able to take note about it one way or another.